And...it was really, really hard. It was really discouraging with how hard it was! It was taking its toll on me. But, President Weaver called again this morning, just to say hi and to check on how I was doing. He said the worst week was over! Which, I hope is true - I'm pretty sure it's true. Yesterday afternoon, I took the time to calm myself down, to kind of figure things out, and to go to the Lord. It's something that I have a hard time with, relying solely on the Lord. Because, in the past, He's sent people like Sister Ferrell or Sister New to help pick me up when I was falling apart, so learning to put everything on the Lord, placing everything in front of Christ is really, really, hard. It's been a humbling week. One that I will not soon forget.
Something that I read this morning - Sister Thomas, the sweet member that we live with right now, printed off some talks for me. I asked her to look up a talk about the enabling power of the Atonement. The phrase had been bouncing around in my head, and she was kind enough to print off several talks and articles from lds.org without me asking. In one of them, it said, "The belief that through our own 'sheer grit, willpower, and discipline' [quoting Elder Bednar] we can manage just about anything seems to be widespread these days. This simply is not true. Heavenly Father and the Savior can inspire, comfort, and strengthen us in our time of need, if we remember to cast our burdens at Their feet."
This is absolutely a beautiful thought. And it's a reminder to me that, my own stubbornness and own strength will not get me through this mission. In fact, it didn't get me through the week. That was much of my problem. I was struggling, and I was trying to hold myself together by sheer grit. But, then I feel apart, and I placed everything in front of the Lord and...it's all a little bit better. In fact, last night, I felt really in tune with the spirit, and I feel like a REAL missionary in the three lessons we taught last night. We worked together, I felt I was led by the spirit, and I felt like I was doing exactly what I have seen sister missionaries do in front of me. I think I'm becoming like those I admire most.
We're teaching some awesome investigators. My favorite is this man named Chris Sherwood. I met him after Sister V and her previous companion taught him the Word of Wisdom. He has been smoking for YEARS. Now, it's been over a week, and he hasn't smoked once. It's a miracle. His faith and trust and knowledge absolutely astounds me, and I love teaching him and seeing him take to heart the words of the Gospel. (Ok, real quick, if you get two emails from me, it's because I'm on a half an hour computer right now, so I'll get on again, and finish the email because I didn't finish.) He's getting baptized this Saturday, and I just can't wait! I can't wait to continue teaching him - and I can't wait to teach him about the temple! His mind is going to be blown!
Our teaching pool is slowly dwindling, which is a struggle, because Sister V has recently tracted most places in this area. Tracting is SUPER hard by the way! Sister Chatteton, if you're reading this, THAT'S something that should be taught in the MTC! Door approaches! Super scary! My tongue gets tied every time!
I truly do love this work, and I'm working hard. Me and my companion have had our little tiffs, but we're working them out. I miss home, I miss everyone, I miss Flagstaff, I miss playing the piano, but, hey. It's all worth it, right? That's one thing I learned from Sister Ferrell and Sister New. It's so totally worth it!
Say hi to the sisters in Mesa for me - if one of them have been transferred...that's sad...But, I love you all. Thanks for your support and prayers - please keep them coming! Boy, I need them lots!
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