It's been insane here in Shelton! Me and Sister Douros have been working our tails off! (Sorry, Leigh, I haven't gotten the chance to write you yet...I've been trying! It's been crazy!) We have been working SO HARD! Last week, I would get home so tired that I wasn't able to walk straight. The last time I've been that tired was my first week here. I'd get into bed and be out the minute my head hit the pillow. P-day is much needed!
Sister Douros is the best!! It was so easy to come to love her. She's from Draper, Utah and has been out for almost a year - she'll hit her year mark near the end of this transfer. She's absolutely hilarious, but a hard worker. She loves the Gospel, and she loves the people - pretty much the best combination. She's made this last week easier on me. I've been overwhelmed and stressed, and every time she can tell I'm beginning to freak out, she just looks at me and tells me to breathe. She's been a huge support and has helped me to relieve some of the stress I've been feeling.
It's been a hard week, though. Our teaching pool has shrunk - which is what happens when you're blessed with baptisms! - and near the end of last transfer, Sister V and I were having trouble finding new investigators, so we've been having a hard time with finding people to teach. Plus, because of a number of things happening, we lost contact with practically all of our investigators. We have zero progressing investigators. It's just really hard. So, this week, we've worked SO HARD. But, our numbers are not quite up to par. At least, not up to Sister Villatoro standard, which is still what I'm used to. It's been a little bit discouraging, which I know is normal, but I also know is NOT how a missionary should feel. Discouragement is a tool of Satan's. I've been trying hard not to focus on our numbers, because Sister Douros and I have been working so hard. It goes back to what Preach My Gospel says about what a successful missionary is. It's based off of the missionary's commitment and dedication.
President Weaver has set the goal for every companionship to get a baptism this month. We've set our own personal goal for baptisms this month as 3. Sometimes when I think about it, I get a little stressed. It feels a little hopeless with the way things have been going. (and I know! It's only the first week of the month! I know I'm just being silly.) And every time, Sister Douros can tell and just looks at me and says, "It will happen." She's very sweet. When I was expressing some of my discouragement and worries one night, she, with conviction, told me that, because of my faith and dedication, we would see baptisms this transfer. They were very comforting words, and they caused me to kind of sit back and think, because if I DO have faith, then I'll trust that God will cause things to happen, and that it will be good!
We have seen several little miracles the past week, and one in particular kind of put some things into perspective for me. We were out knocking doors, 5-7 on Friday. (President asks us to do this everyday, except P-days, when we knock 6-7.) It was getting pretty close to 7:00. 6:58, to be exact. We had looped around, so we were pretty close to the car. I really don't like knocking doors...which makes sense to anyone who knows me...talking to strangers is NOT my forte. We were both pretty tired, and we knew it only left time for one more door, so it would be pretty easy to justify just going back to the car. But, President Weaver always talks about the 6:58 or 6:59 miracles, so I said, "Shall we work for a 6:58 miracle?" and Sister Douros pointed to a house - which was the house I was eyeing, as well. So, we knocked it.
A woman answered, came out, and was like, "Well, I'm Baptist, my husband is Catholic. We're not really interested, but we appreciate what you do." Sister Douros asked if there was anything we could do for her. She responded that she has some family in Oklahoma, near where the tornado was, and she was worried about them, and asked if we could keep them in our prayers. As she asked us, she got a little emotional. We said we could pray with her right then, and she accepted. (In order to count lessons when we're tracting, we need 3 of 4 things. An opening and closing prayer, testifying of a principle, and an invitation to do something. So praying on people's doorstep isn't TOO weird for us.) After we prayed, she was a little emotional again, and thanked us.
As I walked away, I thought about how we were led there. It was our last door. If we had called it quits early, we would have missed it. We couldn't even count it as a lesson, because we didn't testify of anything or invite her to do something. But, we uplifted her. We brought her comfort. As a missionary, I am a representative of Jesus Christ, and as such, I should NOT be focused on numbers. Yes, numbers help motivate. Numbers help keep us focused on goals. But, the most important thing, is to be doing as Christ would - if one gets too caught up in the number aspect, then we lose sight of the precious experiences and miracles, such as being able to pray with someone who needed some comfort and to feel God's love. At that instance, even without a lesson, even without inviting someone to be baptized, we were able to fulfill our purpose as missionaries. It was a sweet, tender mercy from the Lord, for me.
I'm so glad to be out here, no matter how exhausted I am, no matter how hard it is, no matter how stressed I may become. Because it is so worth it! Those are words that Sister New spoke to me once, and they have resonated within me ever since entering the MTC. It's all worth it! It sounds like a trite little phrase, but it means the world to me. I testify, with all my heart, that no matter how hard things get, no matter how hard it is to do what you're supposed to, no matter what goes on in life, it will ALWAYS be worth clinging to the Gospel, sharing the Gospel, living the Gospel. Because the reward is eternal, the joy is pure, and the spirit is strong enough to overcome anything you feel at the present. This is the best! Thank you for all of your love and support! I love you all! I'll write back to the people who sent me letters as soon as possible! It's been a crazy time! Love you!!
Sister Beth Ann Root!
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